According to relationship and marriage expert Dr. John Gottman, couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy before getting help.
Read that again: 6… YEARS…
That’s a long time to be unhappy (or for anything else for that matter). I understand that making a change is very difficult and taking the first step to even begin a search for a therapist can be a confusing and daunting task. But, if you are not happy, there is no time like the present to start making a change. If you are considering treatment, it will behoove you to start as soon as possible.
I often hear from couples something like, “Man, I wish we came to see you 2 years ago.” Often times, my response is simply: “Me too.” While couples are sitting in tension for years (which sucks!!!), much damage can be done and pain is the result. For many, there is still a spark that we can fan to get the flames going again. It’s like a phoenix rising up out of the ashes and the relationship to get back to a place of friendship, love and happiness. Sadly, though, not always. If so much damage is done to the fondness and admiration system that it’s dead on arrival, that fire may be out forever. This is rare, but I have seen it.
For those of you reading this and wondering if now is the right time, it probably is! I encourage you to send me a message or call me right now while this is on your mind. If you had a broken leg, you wouldn’t walk around on it for years, just hoping that it healed on it’s own (at least, I really hope not). Mental health issues and relationship issues affect your life, your happiness, your ability to do the things you want in so many ways. Why should getting help for these painful issues be any less important than a physical ailment?
Decades of research has led to effective tools for fixing the components of a relationship (I encourage you to read more on Gottman.com). If you are ready, I am here to teach you these tools. Let’s start the healing process and get your life back!
